5 Questions with Marilyn Buehler: On Private Equity, Recruiting, and Life in San Diego

Starting out in private equity recruiting might sound intense—but for Marilyn Buehler, it’s exactly where she wants to be. As a Consultant at The Lancer Group, she’s diving headfirst into the world of executive search, helping PE firms find the right leaders to drive their portfolio companies forward.

We caught up with Marilyn to hear what drew her into the world of PE, what she’s learned so far, and what keeps her motivated—inside and outside of work.

1. What drew you to recruiting, especially in the private equity world? Was there a moment or experience that made you think, this is the kind of work I want to do?

Recruiting challenges me to continuously learn, grow, and apply my passion for psychology and communication in a meaningful way. I began my career in mental health and earned a degree in psychology, but as I explored how I wanted to evolve professionally, I realized I was drawn to roles that would allow me to bridge psychology with business. I wanted to find a path where I could use my understanding of people, behavior, and motivation to drive real-world impact — and recruiting offered exactly that intersection.

I was particularly drawn to executive recruiting because of the depth of connection it allows: low-volume, high-impact work that requires truly understanding both people and business needs. Pivoting into this industry was challenging, it took extensive hours of studying, note-taking, business books, podcasts, and deep immersion into business and private equity terminology to overcome the initial learning curve. I found the work to be extremely rewarding, not just because it’s about placing candidates (starting a new job is always exciting), but because it’s fundamentally about solving complex business challenges through human capital.

What engages me most is the consultative aspect: being a trusted partner who provides not just talent, but insight, market intelligence, and creative solutions tailored to each client's goals. Specializing in Private Equity has allowed me to deepen that skill. The PE world is fast-paced and outcome-driven, requiring precision, creativity, and an ability to understand both operational excellence and growth strategy. I love the focus and freedom that PE recruiting offers — it gives me a clear point of specialization while still constantly challenging me to grow as a strategic partner.

2. What’s been the biggest surprise about working in executive search so far? Something that no one tells you until you’re in it?

One of the biggest surprises has been how dynamic and fluid the work really is. On paper, executive search can sound very linear…find candidates, fill a role…but in reality, it’s a much more strategic and iterative process. A huge part of the work happens before we even

reach out to a candidate: building the research strategy, critically thinking through the market, and aligning on what will actually move the business forward. By the time we’ve actually gotten a candidate on the phone, we’ve spent hours understanding their industry and career history.

It’s also a lot more collaborative and is continuously evolving more than I initially expected. Roles often shift as the search progresses and sometimes the business’s real needs only come into focus once conversations with candidates begin. What looks good on paper isn't always what’s going to drive outcomes. Staying flexible, engaged, and communicative with the client throughout the process is critical. Executive search isn’t just about filling a job; it’s about diagnosing the true need and delivering a solution that will have a real business impact.

3. Any go-to advice you give candidates before interviews? What’s the one thing people should always do—but often don’t?

Before an interview with us here at Lancer, my biggest advice is simple: focus on connecting. It can be challenging over video, but ultimately, our goal is to understand who you are, your story, and how you think, not just what’s on your resume. Authenticity and human connection go a long way. We can read about companies and data for hours, but hearing it explained in your own words is much more powerful. As a recruiter, it’s also my responsibility to support candidates through this process and helping them understand the needs of the client to set them up for a successful conversation.

When it comes to interviews with hiring managers, I always recommend going a step further: research the person you’re meeting with, take the time to engage in small talk to build rapport, and actively listen. Make sure you’re clarifying and confirming that you understand their questions, you’d be surprised how differently people can define common business terms.

The candidates who slow down, stay curious, and prioritize connection over performance tend to leave the strongest impressions. Great work doesn't always speak for itself; it’s your ability to communicate it that makes it resonate.

4. What’s something you think people misunderstand about recruiting? Let’s bust a myth. What’s one thing people get totally wrong about what you do?

If we send you an email, whether it's about a role or a potential partnership, it’s because we spent significant time researching you/your company. We don’t do thoughtless mass outreach. Every message is part of a tailored, high-touch approach.

It’s not always easy to break through the noise with how much spam fills inboxes these days but just know there’s a real person behind that message who took the time to reach out thoughtfully.

5. San Diego must-have: Best place for a quick lunch or post-work treat? We all need a go-to spot. Where’s yours?

Queenstown has the best happy hour appetizers. I love their baked brie, hummus, and lamb skewers!